11.08.2014, Monday, 05:34 pm

Celeb relationships are so hard to follow. I have more important
things to do that bother investigating who’s dating who, of course,
[like acting as Fudge’s official poop picker-upper] but my bud’s
don’t. Whenever we meet up, they spend at least half an hour updating each other about Hollywood’s newest couples;

‘OOOOOO!!! Can you believe THEY BROKE UP????’
‘WHAT??? THEY were so PERFECT TOGETHER!!!’
‘TOTES!!!!’
‘Are you KIDDING me?? How could THEY have separated?? I was so sure HE was going to propose!! And buy a new HER apartment so THEY could live happily ever after in THEIR very own palace!!’
>Chorus of dreamy Sighs<
‘Um… guys??’ –This awkward person talking is me- ‘Who are THEY??’
‘AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!’
‘EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!’
‘NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!’
‘SAY IT AIN’T SO!!!!!!!!’
‘How can you possibly NOT KNOW who THEY are??? You MONSTER!!’
‘Wait…Girls, girls, calm down. Tay, are you saying that you have no idea about who we’re discussing??’
‘Um… No??’
‘Let me give you a hint, they’re the IT couple right now…’
‘Listen guys, the ITTEST couple I’m aware of is Romeo and Juliet…’
>Chuckles to Self<
‘OK. Girls, GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!’
I am not joking. It happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. According to them, I am “abnormal” for not knowing how many times Elizabeth Taylor has
married.
The point is, I decided to do a little researching today. Try to
surprise the relationship gurus. Maybe even beat them at their own
game.
Didn’t happen.
We met up for ice cream at Double Dip and, halfway through my banana
split, I casually said, ‘Hey, have you heard?? THEY are back
together!!’
‘They as in…??’
‘WHAT are you talking about??’
‘Tay, there are SO MANY “Theys” out there. My Mum and Dad are a
“They!!” Gross, but true.’
‘WHO IN THE WORLD ARE YOU REFERRING TO??’
‘Be specific, girl!!’
And that was the last time I am ever going to so much as THINK about
beating the pros at their own sport, especially if a key word of their game is “BradJelina.”

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