02.08.2014, Thursday, 03:56 pm

She’s done it again. “She” as in Brandy, Duchess of Meanville, “it” as in managed to destroy my life and “again” as for the hundred MILLIONTH time this week.

What was that, DeDe?? Did you ask me HOW??

Oh, I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you LOTS.

Earlier today, I attended the would-be last Pattern Math class for preferably ever. I was in high spirits, mainly because when it hits you that something you dislike as much as I dislike P.M class is going to wrap up, you can’t help but smile.

That’s where Brandy slid into the picture.

‘Could I come with you to math class, Taylor??’ She asked me at the dining table this morning. I almost choked on my PB & J.

‘No WAY,’ I wanted to scream. Wanted to.

Before I could get a word in edgewise, though, Mom answered for me. ‘Of course, Brandy. I’m sure Taylor would appreciate the company, wouldn’t you, Taylor??’ My Mom practically spit out the last three words. It was obvious what she wanted me to say.

And as much as it pained me to say it, I did. Come on, she’s my MOTHER. Without her, I wouldn’t even EXIST. I think I at least owe her the courtesy to SAY what she wants me to.

‘Um… Yeeeeaaaahhh,’ I agreed, not lifting my eyes from my toast.

My mind was busy thinking of the various reasons Brandy would want to spend a single extra second with ME, a person she so openly hates. Public humiliation?? It seemed like the most reasonable explanation.

So I was slightly scared when she acted like a complete angel throughout the one hour of boring math formulae. I was almost tempted to pin her to the wall and demand her to tell me why she wanted to tag along. The suspense was KILLING me.

I didn’t have long to wait.

Just as the class ended and students were filing out, I noticed that my notorious cousin was nowhere to be seen. Panic filling my overworked brain, I darted all around the grounds, calling out her name with a tone that suggested I actually cared. Not that I did, of course. Just that I would probably be grounded till the end of time if I lost her.

I fled back into the classroom, ready to pour the whole thing out to the Prof…

…Only to find Brandy casually chatting up my teacher. ‘Brandy,’ I sputtered, suppressing the urge to bash her little face in. ‘There she is,’ Brandy gestured towards me.

‘Your cousin here was telling me how much you enjoy my arithmetic classes,’ Professor Hendricks stated. ‘Well…’ I feebly responded, hardly believing my ears.

‘She really does, Mr Hendricks. Once she’s back home, she can’t shut up about the “joy of mathematics”, as she likes to put it,’ Brandy jabbered on.

‘If you really do like them so much, then I’m willing to offer you extra classes. In fact, I’m starting an advanced course..’

‘That REALLY won’t be necessary, Professor,’ I interjected firmly. So THIS was her plan!! To practically FORCE me to go for another ten days of torture!!

‘No, no, I insist,’ My teacher shook his head. ‘Ask your father to come talk to me about it.’

‘Gee… Thanks,’ I mumbled, shuffling back into the hallway. I was going to KILL her. No, worse than kill. SLAUGHTER. That’s better. I was going to squeeze out her eyeballs and laugh as she cried for mercy. I was…

Before I could put my brilliant plan into action, Dad came marching towards me. ‘Where have you two been??’ He questioned. ‘We were talking to Professor Hendricks, Uncle,’ Brandy replied, appearing from nowhere. ‘If I’m not mistaken, he wants to talk to you about something,’ She added sweetly.

‘Oh,’ Dad said, softened by the sound of Brandy’s angelic voice. ‘I hope you haven’t gotten into trouble, Taylor,’ he muttered before dragging me back into the room for yet another painful conversation.

It was settled. I would appear for another ten days of yawn-inducing P.M classes.

You should’ve seen Dad’s face when Mr Hendricks informed him about my love for math. He looked as proud as when Kathryn gave up shopping at Prada.

At least SOMEONE was happy.

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