29.05.2014, Wednesday, 02:12 pm

We talked about it and I agree that I may have been a little extreme. But Dad assured me that he was only giving me a compliment. All he was saying was that my speech is far superior when compared to the kids of my age group, that’s it.

How could you have expected me to know that?? He DID request me to start talking “normally”, didn’t he??

What he was TRYING to say yesterday was that there’s going to be this dinner party that his boss is throwing and Dad has to make an EPIC first impression with this other Big Dude in order for him to get the promotion he’s been eyeing for a while and what I need to do is hit it off with the Big Dude’ twelve year old daughter, Mavis, so that it makes getting the job easier for my father. Easy peasey.

BUT, Dad –Dear Ol’ Dad, always finding a way to complicate things- says that I need to talk with more of a slang so that it becomes easier for me to “bond” with Mavis. That’s the part I don’t get. I mean, I’m VERY ordinary when it comes to language. I don’t use words like “euphoria” in my everyday interactions. Sure, I have a larger vocabulary than most kids my age, but that doesn’t mean I ain’t NORMAL!!!!

So now, in order to normalize my language, Dad wants me to spend more time communicating with the children in my school who talk all weirdly. You know, that ones who go “Twenny” and “Teachin.’” This is so unfair!! Instead of doing nothing [like you are SUPPOSED to do during your vacations], I will be scouting the area for the children with the worst accents… and then trying to IMMITATE them. Oh yeah, this is TOTALLY how I want to spend the next four days of my life.


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