16.02.2014, Sunday, 03:11 pm

The camp was EX-CE-LENT. At least, it was WAY better than I dared to hope it would be. [Then again, when it comes to my SCHOOL, my expectations are so low, it goes into NEGATIVES]

Maybe we [as in Chantal, Ashley and I] got of to a rocky start [what with us being mistaken for Scouts and shoved in the eighth-grade-guy’s bus for the journey to the campsite], but things TOTALLY smoothened out in the end.

There were a few down parts to the trip [like when some of our classmates got this close to being KIDNAPPED] but it sure had its share of awesomeness.

Let’s start our story at the moment when all of us were instructed to alight our vehicles [because narrating the trip to the Nature Resort is WAAAAY too painful. I mean, you’d at least expect the EIGHTH GRADERS to be a wee-bit more mature that, I don’t know, THREE YEAR OLDS, wouldn’t you?? But NOOOO, that would be asking for too much, apparently].

In all honesty, the camp was less rough-n-tough than I’d have prefered. For example, we didn’t sleep in tents. Well, it did basically boil down to a piece of cloth nailed to the ground to form a triangular space under which we had to sleep. But instead of feeling bits of rock and flint under your body as you lay down, you felt this cold surface, because we were ordered to set up our tents on slabs of cement.

[How absolutely campy, right??]

After arranging our luggage in allotted sleeping quarters, we trooped off to the “Mess” which is [appropriately named and] basically another name for the dining area. I’ll agree, breakfast wasn’t five-star-hotel quality, but I’m guessing regular, steaming hot meals is better than grilling a dead rabbit you shot in the woods over an open fire. And then EATING it.

Anyway, the rest of the day just passed by in these weird “session” thingys. I’m not really sure what the point of those were, because all we really did was gather around this stage and listen to the “State’s leading Scout Master” talk about… well, nothing at all. [Doesn’t make sense?? Read on…]

For starters, he was more like a raging lunatic. Which sane guy rambles on choosing T.V’s over refrigerators for half an hour?? It had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING [and even less to do with Girl Guides] and he made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!!!

[Isn’t it weird how our school ALWAYS picks the worst role models to give us lectures on the most insane topics on the planet??]

Oh, and the way his arms and legs all flapped about in this ridiculous trademark style… I think he was trying to be funny but even if he was, I can assure you, he was failing agonizingly.

One of the only good parts of the first day was that glorious hour when we played football.  Pure, unadulterated football. Oh, it was like eating chocolate in HEAVEN. Delicious and out of this world, all at the same time.

It was a seventh-versus-eighth grade match, and we were totally KILLING IT out there. At the end of the first half, we were up, 2-0. The second part of the game was a wee bit more complicated. You see, Chantal, Ashley and I were the ONLY girls on field. Every other female was either gossiping or treating herself to a mani-pedi.

Well, while we were playing, one of the students tripped Ashley [purposely. I saw it with my own eyes. Okay, maybe that statement is not making you as confident as I want you to be feeling, considering how I wear glasses and all, but STILL] and she fell face-down, her features twisted in pain. Turns out, the culprit was none other than Kyle Morgan, grandson of our school’s President.

But when I saw my friend lying there, squirming in the mud, all I could think of was how he had just hurt her [deliberately]. I saw RED, burning in front of my eyes, and all I wanted to do was get my hands on that little #$*@^%!! So I huffed over to where he was standing, clasped my hands on his shoulder and turned him around to face me. Then, without thinking, >SMACK<!!

The next thing I saw was red, too. Only this time, it was gushing from Kyle’s nose. ‘Uh oh,’ I thought, as the sudden reality of what just happened began sinking in. Did I just-

Oh yeah, I did.

To be more precise, I did it. In my head. Fortunately for me, what I thought had just happened didn’t happen at all. Ashley never fell. Kyle never made her. And I never disfigured him.

PHEW!!

But, all the same, I couldn’t help wondering if I’d been made to play that scene in my head for a REASON. So, just to be sure, I marched over to the son of a President and said, ‘Yo, Kyle man, stay away from my buddies.’ He just nodded at me blankly.

But did I learn from my mistake [that never actually was]?? Of course not.

Just as I kicked the ball and sent it flying to the other side of the ground, ‘I heard one of the guys comment, ‘Not bad. For a GIRL.’

And that REALLY set me off.

I was so mad, I’m guessing there was smoke pouring out of my ears. And maybe even my nostrils. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to SMASH the IDIOT who had DARED to even THINK that he was MARGINALLY better than US GIRLS!!!

Approaching him, I bellowed, ‘Hey LOSER. What do you mean “for a GIRL??”‘ I demanded. He spun around with this partly nervous partly casual expression and went, ‘I meant, for a GIRL. Is it really so hard to understand??’ By now, a small ring of kids had encircled us and were chanting, ‘Fight! Fight!! FIGHT!!!’

[This is where two years of karate experience comes into play]

What I did next was something I’m sure Gandhi would NOT approve of. But it had to be done. I was doing this for all the females out there, being dismissed because of their gender.

I, fast as lightning, bolted over to the guy, shot my arm out till it lightly tapped his stomach and retreated as quickly as possible.

Thanks to natural ability, I am speedy. But it’s only due to those twice-a-week martial art classes that I had any idea how I should have punched him so he feels the impact, but not too much. So he gets hurt, but doesn’t start bleeding. So he feels enraged, but not enough to fight back.

All it took was that brisk rap, and I’d done it. I’d won over the camp.

The place erupted with my name and I basked in its glory. My opponent was clutching his stomach, but that was only because of the suddenness, the shock that I’d actually try to attempt a blow. I was sure that within a minute, he would be back to normal, this incident half-erased from his mind. But for that second, for that period [how ever short]… It was Taylor Time.

‘Taylor, the mayor called. He wants you to represent the United States of America for boxing at the 2016 Olympics!’

‘Omigosh!! Carly, did you SEE that?? THAT GIRL kicked Peter’s BUTT!!’

‘WHAT A NIGHT IT HAS BEEN AT THIS YEAR’S WWF!!’

I was pretty sure that I would be the talk of the town for the night, but what I REALLY wanted at the moment was to get back to the game. So when I heard someone shout, ‘Punch his face! Punch his face!!’ I replied, ‘I would NOT do that to my hand.’ It took a moment for that to fully register, and then everyone was laughing. Even Grouchy Gus, who isn;t called Grouchy Gus for nothing.

‘Hey, Macklemore,’ I yelled to the weird guy in the animal fur trimmed jacket who was holding the football. ‘Pass the ball. Let’s get this game STARTED!!’

After that, the match was back in full swing. We won, bu with a 4-3 score, so I’d say that for the last five minutes or so, it was anyone’s game.

Nothing of much importance happened till twelve o’clock. All the student were supposed to be sleeping, but for us girls, the night had just begun.

‘What do you say we plan an invasion on the Scouts??’ Mindy Greene from the eighth suggested, as all the Guides grouped up by the first tent [as planned]. ‘Totally. We do that, like, every single year, and it always rocks,’ someone from the back said and it was decided; we were officially going to break into the Scout camp.

Well, it was more like the Scout’s part of ground, as all that really separated the boys and us was a few bushes and the Mess. Oh, and the extremely rockin’ activity course that we were all scheduled to try out the next day.

Of course, we had to do it in perfect silence as there were teachers posted all around the place, but we were so excited to be actually breaking the rules for once [and having other people back us] that we didn’t really think about that.

Unfortunately, the Scouts were having a similar discussion right about then, but we didn’t know that then, obviously.

Anyway, it was all planned out. One girl would sneak up to the Mess and give a warning cry is there was any sign of danger. If not, she would yell out an arranged hoot and the rest of the girls would stealthily follow.

I was that girl.

So I made my way towards the warmly lit cafeteria. As quiet as a super silent dishwasher. And when I realized that there was no immediate trouble nearby, I hooted.

That’s when I saw it. And I tried sending out a warning cry. But all that came out was this croak. I was too astonished to do anything but croak. Because suddenly I noticed that I wasn’t alone.

Just as the other girls came up to where I was, they revealed themselves. The guys.

How could I have been so idiotic?? DUH they were going to lie in wait!! [Actually, not so Duh. Becasue I could think of a million other things I would rather be doing if I were them. But, whatever]

Soon, it was just like in the movies. You know, one herd of people on one side, another group of people on the other. We detested them and something told me the feeling was mutual.

And you know what we did?? We just stood there. Sure, we stood there baring our teeth and all. But we just stood there. ‘Um. Are we supposed to do something?’ I whispered to the girl next to me. ‘No. We just stand here,’ she replied. At first, I thought she was being sarcastic.

Then I realized she wasn’t. I-

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