07.12.2013, Saturday, 06:03 pm

Uncle Gavin, Aunt Samantha and little Natalie and Norman are arriving here on Monday morning.

The whole house is in a frenzy.

Mum’s barking orders in the phone, [‘Yes, that will be two HUNDRED red satin, extra moisture, cream and cherry icing cupcakes] daddy’s mowing the law [under mum’s orders] and I’m SUPPOSED to be writing a poem for my cousins.

Mum wants EVERYTHING to be perfect for her brother’s arrival. She has even sprayed the bathrooms with Coco Chanel.

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