27.08.2013, Tuesday, 5:01 pm

Today started out OK. It began as I cautiously made my way into the buzzing classroom. The teacher had not yet arrived [which would explain why everyone had divided themselves into cliques and were chatting in hushed tones] and the whole class was surrounded by a bubble of… well, just plain nervousness.

It seemed like everyone felt shifty and a wee bit at unease. ‘Get your butt over here!’ Stella hissed before I could make any sense out of what had happened to my “colleagues” [as Coach Krammer calls them]. And suddenly, it hit me! Of course, the kids felt a bit nervy because of the Advertisement Project [You know, the one where our team was going to advertise a box of corn flakes]!!

My group, on the other hand, treated the whole assignment like it was a no-brainer. Which is most probably because they didn’t know what was at stake if we didn’t deliver a BREATHTAKINGLY remarkable performance. Which was HALF of this term’s English grade!! Talk about unnecessary burden. But, whatever.

I was confident that we would TOTALLY achieve straight A’s. I mean, duh!! The script was fab, the cast had roles that would bring out their acting potential, everyone had a speaking part [SO not easy. We have a THREE minute segment in which we have to have prominent screen-time for FIFTEEN children whose last intention was to co-operate?? Even a professional peace-maker would go nuts] AND a UNIQUE product [named by yours truly!!]. We had it ALL!!

That is, until we had a run-through during the third period [Miss Chester was absent. What’s new??] and NOBODY [with the exception of the ones who actually PAID any attention during the so-called rehearsals] knew where to stand or where to head to next. It was a WRECK. Roland and Gerard kept bumping into each other while Cathy kept saying “BRAK-fe-ST” instead of “breakfast.”Which is INSANE because WHO can’t pronounce that word [except for immigrants and people with GENUINE disabilities. {And no, idiocy does NOT count as a genuine disability}] It’s not even GERMAN!!!

All in all, we had a ruin-of-a-practice. It was an absolute mess. ‘Umm… people say that if the dress-rehearsal goes wrong, the finals are always a success,’ Stella informed us while digging into a grilled BLT. To tell you the truth, she didn’t sound like she believed herself so much. ‘Sure, you keep telling yourself that,’ Gerard grumbled. ‘Dude, try not to be so optimistic all the time,’ I said, playing with my mushrooms. ‘I’m NOT being grouchy. It’s just that I happen to be the only one who can honestly face facts here,’ he said, shrugging. I threw a vegetable at him.

Well, THAT wasn’t a very smart move, because, in the end, the whole cafeteria was filled with students pelting tetra packs, bits of bread, ANYTHING they could get their hands on. Thankfully, canteen janitor, Mr Jenkins, heard the noise and put an end to our food fight. Come to think of it, that scene would’ve looked pretty movie-ish from a spectator’s point of view.

Anyway, as we appear to be drifting away from the topic, after the whole lunch brawl was but a distant memory, I felt my stomach churn, but this time, it was not because of how much our play thing sucked. Oh no. It was all ASHLEY’S FAULT!!!!!!!!!! Evidently, Miss Bere had informed the class about some weird G.K test she was taking [while I was stuck at home with chicken pox] and NOBODY BOTHERED TO TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!! Like as if I haven’t already had my share of fretting, thanks to the French Dictation I wasn’t aware of.

THANKFULLY, my G.K about the political life around me is [I wouldn’t even say mediocre] average [oh, wait. Don’t average and mediocre mean the same thing??], so I was able to somehow get through the test with an A.

Anyway, after that class, we had French. And BOY, did I get mad when Mademoiselle Zeline announced a pop quiz on verbs!! I had BARELY even FLICKED through my text books the past month. It was like the WHOLE SCHOOL was on a wicked plot to DESTROY even the slightest chance I had of getting into Oxford [with a tuition scholarship because NO WAY will I be able to save up that much]. Sadly for THEM, I happen to be quite good at languages and scored a perfect ninety four. Well, however perfect ninety-four is anyway.

LUCKILY, there were no more surprise tests after that because… everyone had to line up at the auditorium for the ad performances!!! I practically fell off my seat when Miss Peckman notified us about that fact that there were talent scouts in the audience who were willing to display the best skit on T.V!!!!!!!!! And not on a public access channel, either.

I have never heave into a bag so hard. Well, except for before my karate tournaments and exams. Oh, and that time when I was eleven [what a BABY!!] and had a piano recital on stage. As well as… okay, fine, I have been WAY more nervous than I was earlier today, as we mounted the soft steps that led to the Green Room. All the other teams were whispering frantically into each others ears. I guess our troupe must’ve seemed pretty collected, huh??

Anyway, I quickly marched on to the air conditioned Ladies’ Room along with a few other girls and slipped into my “Australian Outfit.” As I have a dual avatar on screen, I have to quickly murmur my Aussie lines before darting to the back wings and yanking on a baseball cap and my Black dyed jacket. As soon as I’ve zipped up the sweater [thus concealing my baby blue checked shirt], I will have to race back into the limelight and begin the rap part. Something I SO wasn’t looking forward to because:

  1. Just the fact that there would be PEOPLE FROM OUTSIDE SCHOOL would be judging my song made me want to gag.
  2. My voice was trembling. Seriously. I felt like I was just about to catch a cold. A FREAKING COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, before I knew what had hit me, it began. Our play had officially started!! I observed carefully as Gordon and Arthur strode onto the dimly lit stage and paraded [with all the confidence in the world] under the steady beam of light. The whole auditorium went silent as Arthur, depicting Mad Scientist #1, began the first part of his speech.

The whole thing went smoothly, and before I knew it, it was time for me to waltz next to them and verbalize my opinion based on the bowl of make-believe cereal they had offered me. ‘It’s great, mate!!’ I said, flashing a thums up. Then, as everyone’s attention was on the Eskimos who were about to tell the genii about what THEY felt, I crept behind the rest of the cast to where Stella was standing with my cap and hoodie.

‘Best of luck, Taylor!! Kick some opponent butt!!’ She encouraged, handing me my costume. I smiled and hurriedly pulled on the suit. Just in time for the final act. It was my time to SHINE!!

I boldly marched onto center stage and whipped the microphone from the stand. I clasped it in one hand while waving funky rapper-movements with the other. The rest of my team gathered behind me and began clapping to the beat. We had decided that there was no need for music during this scene.

I clumsily held the mic nearer to me before beginning my part. And when I did, I don’t know what came over me, but it SURE helped. I found myself floating in space with my dog [weird or WHAT??] while high-fiving a chimp [No comment]. It was all over and done in the blink of an eye and I found myself kind of regretting it when the whole thing had wrapped up.

There had been a thunderous applause that echoed all around the room as we silently trooped off the platform. Teachers kept congratulating us on what a well done performance it had turned out to be. And I was totally thinking, ‘There’s NO WAY the Talent Scout’s haven’t already short-listed us,’ when I realized that Miss Peckman had made it all up just so that we’d take this thing seriously!! That sure was a bummer.

But, hey! You can’t always have what you want, can you?? And I am SO NOT complaining. Because today was FANTABULOUS. It had all the ingredients needed to form a SCRUMDIDLEEYUMPTIOUS day, which included:

1. Best friends

2. After-parties

3.  A standing ovation

And last [but SO not the least];

4. A box of nutritious cereal >Winks<

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