23.07.2013, Tuesday, 7:30 pm [exactly]

Wow. I’m not really keen on this week. All through June, whenever I thought about this fortnight, it sent shudders down my spine. You want to know why?? Well, it’s because of my karate exam that’s in FIVE DAYS!!!!!! I’m really nervous and my stomach is knotted up so tight, I can hardly breathe. For once, I am SO NOT exaggerating. Worse luck!! 😦

WHY??? Why do competitive sports even exist?? Believe me, the joy and satisfaction after winning at a    REAL TOUGH and professional tournament is TEN fold as exciting, but is it really worth all that fear and giddiness prior to the actual event?? Some people say yes, the others disagree. I personally don’t know what to think. Not that I can ponder on any issue right now except my martial arts examination…

NO!!!! Taylor, control your emotions, dudette!! You are who you make yourself to be [or something like that]!! You can do it!!! Why, the whole karate class is afraid of your warrior avatar!! C’mon!! HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF, GAL!!!

As much as I wish I could say that the above pep talk [to myself] was comforting in the least, it has had no effect whatsoever. You know what I’m most afraid of?? I’ll tell you:

There’s this fellow class mate at my karate class, her name is Serena. She’s my age and my belt category. We also have same-length [and colour] hair, younger sisters and spectacles propped on our noses!! [Can two people GET any similar??] The only difference is she’s had more experience in karate. I’ve had exactly 7.09 months less practise than her, but we don’t even think about that anymore.

Anyway, the thing that’s bothering me is that, even though I’m senior to her [karate wise, not age wise] I’m afraid she may overtake me. You know, do better than me this exam. She has never done it before, but there’s always a first, isn’t there??

Oh, yeah. There’s one more HUGE difference that separates us. I’m asthmatic, and that causes me to bunk a hundred too many karate sessions, whereas, she’s perfectly well [the health part of it]. In that way, she’s real lucky. I mean, I can’t do my karate as well as I could do it, and I’m 100% sure of that. I have to abort fights half-way because of wheezing attacks and ditch classes because of sudden bouts of asthma.

Whatever. I pursue karate because I love it, not so that I can prove that I’m better than Serena. Right???

And she hasn’t done better than me in ANY competition so far [except one, where I had a freaking spell of severe asthma. [What’s new??] So why am I getting panicky?? I have continuously topped my class in karate exams, championships and the like. [Not to boast, or anything. Wait, why did I write that?? This is MY diary. I can boast if I want to. It’s not like anybody else is actually going to read it. Except the scumbags who peak into my journal]

Hah!! I’m not scared of you anymore, karate exam!!! Gimme’ all you’ve got!!!!!!!

I’m scared…  Mommy help me!!


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